I won’t try to hide my past as a very, very, very big Tori Amos fan. But I was also in junior high school and lyrics like “racing turtles, the grapefruit is winning” just seemed to make so much sense to me and my budding adolescence. Anyway, there’s still a Tori playlist tucked deep inside my iTunes that I will listen to a few times a year. And I am okay with this.
But for the most part I thought I was completely over this crazy middle aged broad and then I watched this video of her singing about Lindsay Lohan. Oh. My. God. She nails it! The song is called ‘I’m not stupid’ and she actually performed it earlier this summer - before Lilo’s second DUI!
Watch it and then read the oh-so-priceless lyrics.
Just a little chat I need to have
When I was 21 do you think
I had a bag of cocaine in my car?If I did - if I did
You’d never know it
because it would have been hidden
I’m not stupid!
But why are so many 21-year old millionaires so stupid?
Stupid and cute, but stupid - I don’t knowLet’s just say
When I was 26 (or seven - or eight)
And I was a billionairess
What would I have done?
Many naughty things.
Many, many, many naughty things.
But I would have had a DRIVER!‘Cuz I’m not stupid, no.
I’m not stupid, no.
Not THAT stupid anyway
‘Cuz if I had been naughty
(I like being naughty)
But I haven’t been caught so far
and I am almost 44And I’ve done many,
many, many, many, many bad things.
They are hidden inside my *mmm - mmm*
Inside my *mmm - mmm*
So there’s no record or no fingerprints on it‘Cuz I’m not stupid
‘Cuz I’m not stupid
No, not stupid!