Entries Tagged 'Lindsay Lohan' ↓

Thank you, oh thank you German website Promiblogger. Your undercover hacker mastery has made this Friday a truly wonderful one, indeed. For your spamming pleasure, here are the (supposedly) current email addresses of Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kim Kardashian, and Lindsay Lohan:

Paris Hilton: parishilton[at]tmail.com, princessph[at]mycingular.blackberry.net, paris.hilton[at]californiamail.com, cherubrawk[at]gmail.com
Nicole Richie: foxyncr[at]gmail.com, NRiechiencr[at]aol.com
Kim Kardashian: kimdash33[at]gmail.com
Lindsay Lohan: djllohan[at]californiamail.com, labellavita7[at]gmail.com

How many email addresses does Paris Hilton need, I mean seriously?

(Source)

“I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

-Lindsay Lohan, on the night of her most recent arrest

I suppose we should count ourselves lucky that the two youngest Lohans — boys, from what I gather — are either blessed some sense of propriety or are actually illiterate. Little Ali Lohan threw her two cents into the fray today, and, God love her, she was almost convincing. Sure, she misspelled a few words, but she’s 13. Someone send the kid a Speak & Spell and she just might make it.

“I’ve wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives.” (24sizzler.com)

I guess “normal” is relative. But that is not all! Oh no, that is not all!

Dina Lohan’s rapport with Entertainment Tonight has earned one of their plucky correspondents, Gina Glickman, the dubious title “Lohan insider.” And you know, I really believe that she is. Who else would a mother trust in times like these? So, in the line of duty both to ET and to Camp Lohan, Glickman relays their side of the story, which culminates in this illuminating passage:

“When the cops arrived, there were so many people in the parking lot that they automatically zoomed in on Lindsay. Apparently the altercation took place at about 1:30 a.m. Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer test. They say the cocaine was not Lindsay’s; she was wearing someone else’s pants. ” (ET Online)

Uh, what? Someone else’s pants? She was wearing someone else’s pants? The law doesn’t care about borrowed pants, kids. Cocaine in your girlfriend’s pocket is cocaine in your pocket if you’re wearing her pants. And all pants talk aside, she was still drunk, still driving, still involved in a weird altercation.

Following Lindsay Lohan’s arrest for suspicion of drunken driving, administrators at Promises Rehab in Malibu have temporarily closed the bar at the facility. “After what has happened with Lindsay, there is pressure on us to reevaluate our treatment procedures, especially our well-stocked bar,” said Christopher Brookes, a spokesperson for Promises.

Less than two weeks out of rehab, with another drunken-driving case pending, Lohan had a blood-alcohol level of between 0.12 and 0.13 percent when police found her about 1:30 a.m. on Tuesday in Santa Monica. A frightened woman had dialed 911 to report being chased by Lohan’s SUV.

“It’s not surprising that she’s in trouble again after her time at Promises,” said a close friend. “She skipped the ‘drinking and driving safely’ courses when she was there.”

Lohan left Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks.

“I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about our facility,” said Brookes. “It’s not like it’s an open bar or anything. The patients have to pay for their own drinks. I want to make sure everyone is clear on that point.”

As administrators reevaluate the treatment process, the bar has been temporarily shut down, leaving three fulltime bartenders unemployed.

“I’m just kind of stunned by all of this,” said Promises bartender Bob Srekam. “I’ve served a lot of amazing celebrities over the years. Lindsay was great. I made her a drink all the time called the ‘Britney Spears.’ It’s mixture of Ketel One vodka, ethanol, and Grey Goose vodka.”

When Lohan was stopped by police, the actress couldn’t walk a straight line, touch her nose or follow a small light with her eyes.

“I’m really upset with how Lindsay has conducted herself with this latest arrest,” said Brookes. “We have two intense classes at our rehab facility that teaches our patients techniques on how to walk a straight line and touch their noses while drunk. It’s very embarassing to see one of our ex-patients perform so poorly after being arrested for drunk driving.”

(Source)

So in the Magical World of Lindsay Lohan’s Drugged Out Brain she is innocent. She sent this statement to Access Hollywood:

“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

I wonder what she thinks happened? While she was drunk and chasing her assistant’s mom around town, some Blow Elf managed to magically plant a usable amount of cocaine in her pants pockets? Or maybe it was a unicorn? I really hope Brothers Grimm Daily gets to the bottom of it soon!

(Source, Source)

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

Listen, you’re young and you’re stupid. You’ve got a magnetic presence, and that makes people fawn over you. Your parents are apparently crazy and acrimoniously divorced, but so are lots of other people’s. You live in Hollywood and act in films, and that would give any reasonable person the false impression that they are godlike. We can totally see how you are a product of your environment and why you have apparently lost your grip on reality. But hear this now: you are just as human an unimportant as the rest of us, this open letter notwithstanding.

So we propose this: you come over, and we’ll load up the freezer with ice cream and bagel bites and spend about a month watching Gilmore Girls and West Wing reruns. ‘Cause you really need to chill out. You don’t need to spend any more time in rehab. You’re not crazy; you’re just 21 in L.A. You’re no more or less irresponsible and erratic than every other 21-year-old in college towns across America, except you’ve got the money to rise above your peers’ beer ponging and water bonging to truly impressive levels of unbridled debauchery. Us plebes don’t go to rehab; we fail freshman bio and are forced to come to grips with our own mortality.

But you Hollywood types don’t go to college. You go to Les Deux and Hyde and Teddy’s and Area or wherever is hot this week. You flash your snatch for the cameras, you have ridiculous feuds over boys more vapid than college geeks, you drive drunk or high or just stupid every night, and apparently you go on coke binges and fire your assistants and chase their mothers in huge black SUVs in the wee hours of the morning. Failing freshman bio would do you all some good. (And in your case, freshman composition would also be really helpful.)

It is our conviction that the last thing you need is a therapist reinforcing your ego-centricism by listening to you talk about your problems and helping you face your “addiction.” Addiction is a serious disease that has devastated almost every family in America in some form or other. You? You’re 21. You need to sit still for a five minutes and focus on something other than yourself. Get outside your head for a while. It would probably make you feel a lot better. There’s a lot of pressure associated with being the center of the universe. Lucky for you, you’re not.

So, seriously, we have tons of TV on DVD, and we make a mean double-chocolate milkshake. And in spite of everything, we all want to see you triumph. Britney Spears is train wreck too, but no one is really all that surprised about her. You, on the other hand, seem so full of life and potential. So we’re all holding out hope you can go the way of Drew Barrymore. Maybe you could call her. She seems like she’d be good for DVDs and ice cream, too.

Love,

Team Scandelirious

Happy Tuesday! And what a Tuesday it is. Our favorite smug party girl - who has been out of rehab for a whopping ELEVEN DAYS - got another DUI early this morning! But wait - there’s more!

She was also involved in a car chase.

A breath test was conducted and her blood alcohol was between .12 and .13, which is well over the legal limit of .08.

Oh but wait - there’s still more!

Guess what drug they found in her pockets? Aw, come on - guess!

It looks like that dumb SCRAM alcohol monitoring anklet she’s been waving in our faces was, as we all expected, a big fat joke.

(Source)

Lindsay turned herself in yesterday afternoon. She walked right into the Beverly Hills PD Station so they could officially arrest her for her May DUI, they held her in custody for about a half hour, then released her on a $30,000 bail. This was apparently  “a routine process, as often times people arrested for driving under the influence are simply cited and released“.

I have such a love/hate relationship with Lohan. She’s pure comedy, yet little things about her get under my skin. Like how she has no talent but a lot of money. (Whereas I have great talent but no money.) She drinks all the time and blows ungodly amounts of cocaine up her little plastic nose and has a car wreck, then gets to take a 45 day trip to a shiny place called rehab which is basically a glorified spa. Oh, and she does drugs while she’s there, too. So then when she finally does “leave”, she turns herself in for being a bad, bad girl and has to waste THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on being a fucking moron.