October 1st, 2007 — David Lynch, drugs
And that word is ‘cocaine’.*
Because nothing says “My perfume smells like what it feels like to stay up all night wearing glamorous gowns snorting rails the size of your leg” like penthouses, waify women in glamorous gowns, and above all: Blondie’s Heart of Glass.
Once again, you win, David Lynch. Best. Commercial. Ever.
*Don’t be sad if you guessed ‘acid’. Easy mistake.
August 22nd, 2007 — Pete Doherty, drugs, kittens
Before today I really just passed Pete Doherty off as a gross looking addict set on self-destruction. And I’m fine with self-destruction so long as it’s not my own, in fact I often applaud other people’s self-destruction because it gives me more to write about.
But when you start endangering animals - especially kittens - I get really, really pissed off.
His adult cat – named Dinger, junkie slang for a syringe – recently had a litter of five kittens. When one of them fell ill, a worried vet tested the sick kitten and found cocaine in its bloodstream.
RSPCA spokesman Julie Stainton said: “It is a police matter, so we cannot deny or confirm the identity of the man who had his kitten removed. But it is very important to protect animals from substances that can do them serious harm.”
Lock him up! Take him to rehab! Paris Hilton may have her little dogs but the worst I can see her doing is blowing pot smoke in their faces, that’s probably just amusing more than anything. But kittens eating cocaine is a serious problem!
(Source)
August 16th, 2007 — Amy Winehouse, drugs
Guess who isn’t in rehab?
Yep, Amy Winehouse! I’m not sure what’s worse about these photos - the obviously fake rat’s nest she’s glued atop her head, her visible thong, or the smug look on her face. I do think she looks a little better, though.. but it’s probably due to the fact that she’s not wearing those damn white shorts. If 48 hours in rehab can make her look this much better, think of what a full forty-day treatment would do!
July 24th, 2007 — Lindsay Lohan, drugs
Happy Tuesday! And what a Tuesday it is. Our favorite smug party girl - who has been out of rehab for a whopping ELEVEN DAYS - got another DUI early this morning! But wait - there’s more!
She was also involved in a car chase.
A breath test was conducted and her blood alcohol was between .12 and .13, which is well over the legal limit of .08.
Oh but wait - there’s still more!
Guess what drug they found in her pockets? Aw, come on - guess!
It looks like that dumb SCRAM alcohol monitoring anklet she’s been waving in our faces was, as we all expected, a big fat joke.
(Source)