Entries Tagged 'Britney Spears' ↓

Kate Moss dons a blonde wig and tries to figure out what the photo director means when he says “Look more ethereal, Kate, more ethereal!” for the Longchamp Paris ad campaign. - Agent Bedhead

15 Unfortunately Placed Advertisements - Oddee

Jenna Malone is so awesome. - Wendy Wayrad

Apparently the most recent excuse is that Britney was “high on cocaine” at the VMAs and that’s why she sucked so bad. Since cocaine is so well known for its slovenly effect on people. Right. - Celebrity Smack

Rachel Leigh Cook looking fierce. - Dailystab

Rachel Leigh Cook looking like Hillary Clinton. - Celebutopia

Fashion week favorite: Abaeté by Laura Poretzky. - Gold digger

Angelina is a controlling bitch, wants Brad to sit and look pretty (don’t we all?). - Mollygood

Hayden Panettiere is single. So is Mary-Kate. Get to shagging, boys! - Glitterati

JoJo looking hot hot. - NS4w.org (this link is safe for work)

Maybe Mary-Kate is single because of the orange hair. Blech. - Dlisted

She’s pulled shit like this before but seriously this is on a whole new level. I just want to grab her by her fake hair and yell at her, “THAT IS A SHIRT! A SHIRT!! MEANING YOU MUST WEAR SOMETHING ON THE BOTTOM HALF!”

I am just baffled. Baffled! Who goes out dressed like that? And it’s actually a semi-cute shirt! How hard is it to throw on a pair of jeans?!?

Quite a bit has happened in the fragrance world since the last Celebrity Perfumes feature here at Scandelirious. Lots of celebrities have come out with new perfume ads in just the last week. Above we have one of the official advertisements for Gwen Stefani’s perfume “Lamb”, which beloved reader Kitty claims smells bad.

“I want you all over me”, Gwen so tastefully says.

Breaking news! Keira states the obvious - that the boob in the ad is not her own.

There was a lot of speculation that Britney’s head was put on a ramdom girl’s body for this shot, but some clever investigating has proved that’s probably not the case.

I’m not sure who would want to smell like a sweaty soccer player, but whatever.

More after the jump!

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Someday I’m going to be sick of all the Britney dramz, but for now I am as caught up in it as everyone else. Don’t you think it was really nice of Allure to retouch her so extensively? Behold her “clear, radiant skin” and her lack of nappy hair and cheetos stains. Very kind indeed considering she didn’t even give them an interview - hence the “Tells us nothing - and everything” line.

And now for the tabs, in all their classy journalistic glory:

Oh snap.. Alli’s gonna be pissed!

Proving yet again how much of a brainiac she is… she apparently doesn’t make her nannies sign confidentiality agreements.

“Now go get me some more lollis, you little brats.”

Here we have photographic evidence of the reports that Alli Sims, also known as Britney’s “cousin”, got served Saturday at 2:30 in the morning. I only find this story interesting because I read this blind item last week:

Which Sapphic starlet employed her lover as an “assistant” to explain why they always went out together?

I’ve read elsewhere that Britney might be perpetuating a little White Lie by referring to Sims as her cousin. So it was particularly interesting to read this Daily Mail article about Alli getting served papers to testify on Britney’s parenting skills, because in the article they refer to Alli not as Brit’s cousin but rather as her “childhood friend” and “pal”.

Hmmmmm…

In more Awesome Britney News of the Day, The Enquirer is reporting that all of those lollipops we see Brit sucking on are - GASP - laced with drugs.

“Britney was introduced to the “drug lollipops” while on her “ONYX” tour in Europe in 2004, said her friend. In Amsterdam, she visited legal marijuana cafes where the lollipops were sold.

After the tour, Britney found a place to buy marijuana “pops” in Santa Monica, said the source. But the insider claims she soon graduated from marijuana-laced lollipops to pops laced with a morphine-like drug that’s an even more potent narcotic.

“The morphine-laced pops are round and look like gumballs,” said the source. “Britney was photographed with them in New York right before her breakdown. Sometimes she’d pass out after sucking a morphine pop. She mixed it with alcohol and could barely stand up and ended up throwing up.

“Now it is as if she uses the pops as a substitute for pain pills or Vicodin.”

The drug is called fentanyl citrate and is supposedly 80 times more potent than morphine. The suckers are approved by the FDA to treat severe pain in cancer patients… not former pop stars in the middle of a quarter-life crisis.

Only our Britney would be trashy enough to eat her drugs in the form of candy. It just tastes good, y’all!

If that last post left you feeling too clean and moral, don’t worry - I’m here to tear it all down and fill your brain with more reports of deplorable debauchery.

The new word on the streets is that Britney Spears’ mother slept with - wait for it - Kevin Federline. And by ’streets’ I mean ‘Britney’s paranoid and delusional brain’.

The always-reputable Star Magazine has the scoop:

“In a fit of rage, Britney accused her mom of sleeping with Kevin!” a friend tells Star. “Britney doesn’t know up from down right now. She’s so confused and angry, she told Lynne that she was so backstabbing, that she was probably sleeping with Kevin just to hurt her feelings. Lynne, on the other hand, is deeply hurt that her own daughter would so viciously accuse her of doing something so terrible.”

The bitter feud between Britney and her mom, Lynne Spears has been raging for a while. Sources say the singer blames her mother for talking her into entering rehab last February, and the war between them has been getting nastier ever since.

An insider also known as Captain Obvious goes on to give us a brilliant and shocking psychoanalysis:

The stress is just adding to Brit’s already fragile state, sources say. “She can’t seem to cope with anything,” the insider reveals. “She cries and says she feels like everyone is against her. I think she’s extremely paranoid. She buys puppies, because they fulfill some desperate need insider her, but the thrill is short-lived, so she goes back and gets another one. She goes out drinking and clubbing because it anesthetizes her and dulls the pain of fighting with her mom and divorcing Kevin. She can’t see it, but the partying is making it worse. Even though Britney’s friends and family aren’t getting along with her right now, they’re really concerned. One day she’s laughing and bouncing with energy and the next day she’s in despair and in tears.”

And friends believe her outrageous allegation about her mother and Kevin is just more proof that Britney isn’t well. “Her apparent paranoia about her mother and Kevin seems to be a product of her current mental state,” the insider says. “All that Lynne and Kevin hope for right now is that Britney will start seeing a therapist to get to the root of her issues, instead of wildly blaming others for her insecurities.”

Wow, how could I have missed that! Thank god we have an insider to spell it all out for us.

(Source)

In more completely unanticipated news, Britney Spears sucks at being a mom! I know, you’re completely taken aback by this inconceivable revelation. The best part about the new Life & Style - besides the cover itself - is this gem:

“When Britney and Kevin were first married, she objected to his smoking around the kids, the insider notes, but now ’she smokes like a chimney in front of them.’ Even worse, when Brit misplaces her pack of cigarettes, she’ll actually turn to Sean and say, ‘Baby, where are Mama’s lollipops?’ Sean runs, gets her cigarettes and brings them back to her.”

Jesus Christ. How lazy can you get? Using your toddler to fetch your cancer sticks? I wonder if she makes them break out her lines of cocaine, too. ‘No darling, that one’s too fat, you don’t want to make Mama’s nose burn, do you?’ She’s probably loving being a mom so much because in just a few short years, she’ll have two assistants that she won’t even have to pay and who can’t really ‘quit’.

(Source)

Photos leaked this weekend of a disastrous shoot for Britney’s new comeback single. These photos were taken on the same day as the bizarre Ok! interview. Apparently Bizarro Britney really is a living meltdown:

Looking dead-eyed and disorientated, the pop babe lost it during a shambolic video shoot and ended up “sobbing hysterically”.

At one point sad Britney, 25, squatted in her torn fishnets, clutched her Yorkie puppy and stared vacantly into space.

Members of her 100-strong crew were sent home after 18 hours on the shoot, paid for by Britney to promote single Give Me More.

I think part of the problem here is that she was chugging Red Bull after Red Bull - onlookers speculated that she must have had over 20. I myself am addicted to the stuff, and I’m here to tell you, more than six of those babies and you are fucked up. No wonder homegirl was staring vacantly into space with her little dog! You’d be wobbly and sobbing hysterically too after 1.6 GRAMS of caffeine and 20 GRAMS of taurine.

Below are two Britney-inspired photos from Steven Meisel’s new Vogue Italia photoshoot entitled “Rehab”:

Let’s do a little recap on our favorite shoeless bipolar mess:

• She supposedly has ‘disastrous’ Ok! interview where she steals a bunch of shit, wipes grease on expensive dress, thinks ceiling is caving in, flees
• Fires assistant of three weeks, Shannon Funk, who never signed a confidentiality agreement
• Flees to Las Vegas with children, thus defying a court order stating she must have written approval from Kevin before leaving the state of California
• While in Las Vegas, her bodyguard gets into a fight with a paparazzo
• During the aforementioned fight, one of her sons gets hit

Anyone who tries to convince me that this girl is not a complete and total disaster will get knifed. Seriously. How could this possibly be a healthy environment for two children??