Tom Cruise never looked creepier

In his neverending quest to creep us out, Tom Cruise is playing a Nazi in his next film. A Nazi with an eye patch, nonetheless.

I’m going to make a digression here about why I hate Tom Cruise. Half the time when this comes up in conversations with other people, they throw out the ‘Well he is kind of insane but he’s a great actor!’ comment, and then I take out a knife and stab them so they can stop spreading such stupid lies. Because he is NOT a good actor. He has been in several good films, but the truth is that he has very little range as an actor and is always Tom Cruise when you watch him in movies. Dustin Hoffman is a great actor. Bill Murray is a great actor. Tom Cruise is not a great actor.

Anyway, the point is, the only movie we all really want to see Tom in is a documentary about how he’s the head of scientology. There would be really fantastic little alien souls flying out of volcanoes and into Katie Holmes. It would be like Rosemary’s Baby, but with extraterrestrials. Instant classic.