What the hell is wrong with Katie Holmes?

The only time Katie ever looks really happy is when she’s shopping with Suri by herself, and even then it’s probably drug (or freedom) induced - she is an actress after all. But this picture has just been added to the “Katie Holmes Looks Brainwashed and Unhappy” file.

Now, in her defense, it was taken after a lovely dining experience with her husband, Tom Cruise, so I’m assuming she’s probably very, very wasted here because it’s 2007 and you’d have to be wasted to dine with that nutjob.

But I don’t care how drunk my girl is, she looks out of it. I went to college. I’ve seen drunk girls. She’s not just drunk. My guess is that since she’ s signing autographs and being forced to look at lots of glossy photos of her from five years ago, she’s thinking (or at least, the last bit of unbrainwashed part of her way in the back of her brain is struggling to think), ‘Oh, shit. I really fucked it all up, didn’t I?’ And then she gets a little electroshock for even thinking that - hence the grimace.

So there you have it, folks. The team at Scandelirious has gotten to the bottom of this week’s Spooky Katie Holmes Photo.