K-Fed and Lynne Spears sittin’ in a tree…

If that last post left you feeling too clean and moral, don’t worry - I’m here to tear it all down and fill your brain with more reports of deplorable debauchery.

The new word on the streets is that Britney Spears’ mother slept with - wait for it - Kevin Federline. And by ’streets’ I mean ‘Britney’s paranoid and delusional brain’.

The always-reputable Star Magazine has the scoop:

“In a fit of rage, Britney accused her mom of sleeping with Kevin!” a friend tells Star. “Britney doesn’t know up from down right now. She’s so confused and angry, she told Lynne that she was so backstabbing, that she was probably sleeping with Kevin just to hurt her feelings. Lynne, on the other hand, is deeply hurt that her own daughter would so viciously accuse her of doing something so terrible.”

The bitter feud between Britney and her mom, Lynne Spears has been raging for a while. Sources say the singer blames her mother for talking her into entering rehab last February, and the war between them has been getting nastier ever since.

An insider also known as Captain Obvious goes on to give us a brilliant and shocking psychoanalysis:

The stress is just adding to Brit’s already fragile state, sources say. “She can’t seem to cope with anything,” the insider reveals. “She cries and says she feels like everyone is against her. I think she’s extremely paranoid. She buys puppies, because they fulfill some desperate need insider her, but the thrill is short-lived, so she goes back and gets another one. She goes out drinking and clubbing because it anesthetizes her and dulls the pain of fighting with her mom and divorcing Kevin. She can’t see it, but the partying is making it worse. Even though Britney’s friends and family aren’t getting along with her right now, they’re really concerned. One day she’s laughing and bouncing with energy and the next day she’s in despair and in tears.”

And friends believe her outrageous allegation about her mother and Kevin is just more proof that Britney isn’t well. “Her apparent paranoia about her mother and Kevin seems to be a product of her current mental state,” the insider says. “All that Lynne and Kevin hope for right now is that Britney will start seeing a therapist to get to the root of her issues, instead of wildly blaming others for her insecurities.”

Wow, how could I have missed that! Thank god we have an insider to spell it all out for us.

(Source)