Katie and Suri in NYC

I sure hope Suri doesn’t hurt herself or get a fever because then our little homegirl will be screwed. Those Scientologists sure are wacky when it comes to parenting:

“Parents are encouraged not to comfort or nurture young children because Hubbard believed children are small adults, able to think and fend for themselves from a very early age. For example, a child who falls and hurts himself is taken to the place where he was hurt and the injury is pressed against the object that caused it. It is believed the pain can be made to flow back into the object.

“‘That’s called a contact assist,’ Teresa Summers said. ‘There is also a fever assist. We were discouraged from seeking medical help or giving medication, even Tylenol, to bring down a fever. Instead, you get the child to hold an object still. That’s supposed to bring down the fever. When it doesn’t work, it’s because you aren’t doing it right or didn’t repeat it often enough. I tried it on my child. Naturally, it didn’t work.’”

If Suri really is simply a small adult and is able to think adult thoughts, I wonder what she thinks? “My ‘dad’ is certifiably insane.” Or maybe, “I worry that my ‘dad’ isn’t mentally stable enough to be a parent.” Or perhaps she thinks, “That crazy cult my ‘dad’ is in is sure gonna fuck me up good. Can I get a little Kahlua in this bottle maybe?”

Oh and also: if loving Katie’s tights + shoes combo is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.