Paris and Britney are like sisters

Paris Hilton cares about her “best friend” Britney Spears so much that she sent her a bouquet of chocolate roses. Ha! Talk about the most back-handed present ever! Bitch isn’t trying to cheer Britney up - she’s trying to expedite homegirl’s inevitable meltdown! Brilliant.

This whole article is pure comedy. From Actress Archives:

The Simple Life’ star supported the mother-of-two through her split from Kevin Federline in November by taking her out partying in Los Angeles to forget her problems.

Paris said last year: “I love her. She is the sweetest girl I know. She’s so down-to-earth. I just want her to smile and be happy.”
Paris’ publicist Elliot Mintz insisted the pair had become so close they were like “sisters” Mintz said: “What I’ve observed is that we have two extraordinarily powerful women who generate a tremendous amount of attention, money, and adulation and they’re tired of other people trying to ride on their coat tails. Paris and Britney have become like sisters.“

You know, I never thought of it, but they really are like sisters! I know that when my sister goes out wearing shirts as dresses and losing her children because she’s addicted to drugs, I always find the time to support her by sending her a bouquet of chocolate roses. No, wait - my sister’s 14. She doesn’t do those things. And if she did, I sure as hell wouldn’t send her chocolate roses to cheer her up - I’d send her a big can of Wake The Fuck Up and Start Taking Responsibility. Kind of like a can of Whoop Ass, but with less ‘Whoop’ and more ‘You’re Ruining Your Life and Career’.