Britney loses custody of her children

What wonderful news! I can only see positive sides to this story.

To the little tykes: Good for you! Now you’re only forced to deal with your lazy daddy. And I don’t care what anyone says - lazy is better than crazy.

To Britney: Good for you! Now you can go out partying guilt-free! There are no kids to be taken away anymore! Your burden is lifted! Fly away little bird!

To London (the little dog): Sorry buddy, you get the short end of this stick. Just keep on shitting on expensive dresses and doing your thing, she’ll probably “lose custody” of you the old fashioned way soon enough. And when I say “lose custody” I really mean “sit on and/or overdose with cheetos and Red Bull”.

Digression: Do you think she gets her abs sprayed on when she goes out and about like this? I will forever question the shadows on her stomach after reports about her sprayed-on abs at the VMAs.