I read your comments and check the statistics - you obviously aren’t ready for Scande to die.

This is my official announcement that we’ll be back - maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the day after tomorrow, but soon.

In the meantime, check out a fantastic new endeavor of mine called JeanJacketsBad - I’ve teamed up with Wendy of WendyWayrad and we’re having a blast writing about non-sleazy celebrities (I know, I know.. oxymoron), music, art, and all the stuff in between.

Unfortunately, dear readers, the time has come for me to close shop here. Below you will find a list of highly entertaining and informative gossip blogs - I highly recommend all of them.

Wendy Wayrad
D-listed
What would Tyler Durden do?
Yeeeah
Faded Youth
Molly Good
Just Jared

Okay. Work with me here. I saw No Country for Old Men and it was basically brillz (An aside: don’t question ‘brillz’. I’m trying to make it happen. Even though I saw Perez say it a few days ago and a part of me died a little inside.. I mostly just say it because it kind of fake-irritates my boyfriend). Anyway, for some reason I found myself strangely attracted to Javier Bardem’s creepy character. Probably because he made me laugh. And he had a sort of twinkle in his eyes. Sigh. I’m a sucker for guys who make me laugh, homicidal maniacs or not.

Anyway, here’s my new favorite celebrity crush at this past weekend’s 2007 New York Film Critics’ Circle Awards.

Watch out, Penelope Cruz.. I’m a-comin to steal your man….

Those Spicies sure are strange! Consider this your “WTF of the day”.

(Source: Egotastic)

Now, I’m no queen of fashion or anything (hahahahaha), but these ads with Jennifer Connelly just seem… off. Her awkward pose? The colors? Too pale, airbrushed? I don’t know. My great-grandmother used to say, “It hurts to be beautiful,” and while I don’t necessarily disagree, I wonder what her thoughts would be on the issue of being simply uncomfortable for the sake of fashion. Hm.

Here’s Jen dressed head to toe in Balenciaga at the L.A. premiere of Reservation Road in October:

Here we have Miley Cyrus (otherwise known as Destiny Hope, as you might recall) debuting a newer, darker hairdo that gets two thumbs up from the 1.5 (1.25?) person team of Scandelirious. The saucy little red number she has on is pretty awesome too. Well done.

And here… here we have Miley doing her best “There’s a creepy guy behind us, don’t acknowledge him or make eye contact,” maneuver. This is something I think a lot of women can identify with, especially women dressed in bright red satin dresses.

It’s not so obvious here in the photo above, the more obvious thing is the look on the man’s face, but when we take a look at the next photo………..

There you have it. The uncomfortable smile, the itchy desire to look at the female friend clutching your hand in fear. It’s okay, girls. Just keep walking. Don’t make eye contact and just keep walking.

(Photos via Celebutopia)

Wow, homegirl’s really filling out! This is probably one of the last times we’ll get to enjoy new photos of preggers Christina Aguilera.. she’s set to give birth sometime next week. I’m just impressed she’s still in heels. Ouch. They are super cute, though. (Witness below via thumbnails and be impressed with her choice of footwear for her ninth month of pregnancy.)

As promised, here is the list you probably haven’t been waiting for. I got deathly ill right after Christmas (I’m slightly exaggerating here, but everyone loves a sob story) so a lot have things have been up in the air. But I’m back on track now!

So these are my favorite songs. I tried really hard not to be one of those elitist music douchebags but I’m not so sure how well that worked out. But this is my list of my favorite songs so if you don’t like them you can fuck off! Yeah!

Also, because I love you and want to expose you to new music, I’ve made each part of this compilation available for download. Just click on the image or the link below each image to download the zip files. Consider it my present to you. Because I love you. I don’t really want you to fuck off.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=29II57Z0

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FGBNOYZG

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XM6YWQWE

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FVOYCPKN

Hello lovely readers. I’m sure I only have about two of you now (if that) since I’ve been on a hiatus these last few months. Oh, by the way, I’ve been on a hiatus. Yeah. I thought about making a post about it, but that strays into tricky territory - if I’m on a hiatus, can I post and say that I am on a hiatus? Does that defy the rules of a posting-hiatus?

Anyway. It’s no matter. The point is, while I probably will continue to disappoint my last two readers with a noticeable absence of celebrity gossip in the coming weeks, I can assure you I will be sharing something much, much more awesome. I’m sure you, dear mother and aunt, are not very excited to know that I am going to be sharing with you my TOP 100 SONGS OF 2007 list, but hopefully some poor souls will stumble upon this site and find some use for the compilation.

I know that this is a gossip blog, and pretentious lists of obscure music is probably not why you stop by once a month to see if I’ve gotten off my lazy virtual ass and shared insight on shallow people with unattainable wealth and idiocy… but I don’t really care. This is my blog, and if it’s going to be vacant I may as well share what I’ve so diligently spent my time working on over the last few weeks. Because I have been working diligently - this list is very, very important to me. Most years I only make a top 20 or 30 list, but this year merited a top 100.

Anyway - carry on. Go back to visiting the blogs that actually give you both news and hilarious commentary. In a few days, if you choose to return, you will find the greatest Christmas present of all - some lovely zip files with all of the best songs of the year, subjectively chosen by your favorite slacker of a gossip blogger. I really can’t wait to share it with you. Stay tuned.

The Orange County Weekly has a disturbing article up outlining the collaboration between - wait for it - Lil’ Wayne and Zac Efron. Yes, I’m serious. The whole thing makes me want to vomit a little in my mouth, but here are some highlights:

“What’s up, my nigga?” Efron says, giving Wayne a pound, a hug, and then, to my astonishment, a full-on kiss, reminiscent of the one Wayne famously gave his surrogate father Baby last year. (Obviously, Efron is going to have to work harder to squelch rumors surrounding his sexual orientation.)

“I’ve been a big fan of Wayne for a long time,” says Efron, emerging from the embrace and cueing up a CD player. “These are the cuts we just finished. Dope, right?”

Fuck it. I’m just going to share the whole article because it’s that absurd. And, for the record, I am completely in love with Weezy F and find his part in all of this very amusing. It’s the Efron part that makes me want to vomit a little in my mouth. Why, Weezy, why??

I wish I could share his enthusiasm, but the songs are a bit jarring, to say the least. On “All for One,” Efron sings the chorus—“Everybody all for one, a real summer has just begun! Let’s rock and roll and just let go, feel the rhythm of the drums. We’re gonna have fun in the sun!”—while Wayne raps: “I’m a dog, you’re all a bunch of fleas on my dick. Driving a Jag, er, like my name was Mick. I’m so sour like cream with chives, and my sperm will make your face break out in hives.”

When they ask for my honest opinion about their new songs, I mutter something about them being “outside the box” and “memorable.” Though my answer is clearly insincere, Wayne seems unfazed.

“This isn’t the only thing I got going on right now,” he says, as the two young celebrities walk me out. “I just did songs with Mannheim Steamroller, something for the new Raffi album, and 16 bars in Spanish on Ricky Martin’s new one.”

Does Wayne ever get overwhelmed by the pace of his high-flying lifestyle?

“Hell, no! This is how I live! I get up in the morning, get my dick sucked four times, drink a Molson’s, and then hang out with Zac. What, do you want me to go to Hawaii for a vacation? You got a job, but this is my vacation right here.”

Adds Efron, “Word!”

I’d be inclined to think this is all a crock of shit, but having seen my fair share of High School Musical and having heard my fair share of Lil’ Wayne, I have to say, those lyrics are spot-on. And this also helps me validate my longstanding claim that Zac Efron always looks stoned.